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Things to do in Tolmin before you’re dead (drunk)

-by Christophe Vanheygen

In about one week from now, we will be camping out on the shores of the river Soča to experience the wacky adventure known as Punk Rock Holiday. It marks the first time a Punkrocktheory-representative will roam the Slovenian countryside in search of beer, good company and proper music. Here’s a few things our rowdy reporter is most looking forward to …

1. Five days of punk rockin’ fun

Yes, you read that right. It’s a five-day festival! Bands are playing from Monday until Friday.

Seriously, I’m not sure how to survive sleeping in a tent, being old and 6 ft. 2. I guess the relatively cheap beer will help.

2. Achieve All

For five days, I shall not commit laundry, I shall covet my neighbor's food, I shall not commit adulthood, despite having reached the wonderful age of 35. My girlfriend does insist on me “committing hygiene”, though. And she doesn’t like it when I don’t suppress flatulence.

Okay, so maybe I won’t achieve All, but I will get to witness the legendary Descendents perform tracks off of their new record live. Have you heard “Hypercaffium Spazzinate"? It’s probably the awesomest thing you will hear this year.

Unless the new Bouncing Souls album is even more awesome than that. Which brings us to number 3 …

3. Bounce around with the Souls

The Bouncing Souls have a new record out called “Simplicity”. It’s their first one with Hot Water Music’s George Rebelo behind the drum kit and by Jove, it’s so good Punkrocktheory even reviewed it!

Anyway, it’s always a blast to witness the Souls do their thing and it’s been way too long. Hell, if my bum knee holds out, I might even pogo for a wee spell.

4. Feel like I’m 16 again

There was a time, long ago, when people wore baggy pants and oversized band shirts over oversized long sleeve shirts. You called friends at their home, and chatted on three-letter programs like MSN or ICQ. ‘Twere simpler times, ‘twere times when skatepunk ruled the universe.

Come the day you get to see – literally – almost all your mid-to-late nineties punk rock heroes take the stage over a mere five day span. From Lagwagon and No Fun At All to Millencolin and NOFX.

Seriously, are you slightly over 30? Check out the line up and tell me you don’t wish you’d seen all this awesomeness thrown together way back when … Do it.

5. Try to be that old cynical bastard around Muncie Girls

If there’s one new-ish band that puts a smile on this guy’s face, it’s Muncie Girls. So, for this once, I’ll do my best not to smile and enjoy the show.

If you catch me not being grumpy, I’ll buy you a beer. That’s a promise.

6. Take a swim in Lake You

Yeah, nobody says that. It’s an obvious “Preacher”-reference because I’m a geek. The comics, not the TV-show.

Anyway, there is no a lake. Only a darn cold river. But it sure is as picturesque as anything I’ve ever seen before. It’s the perfect location to contemplate on life, or to try remembering what you drank the night before to make you feel like you took a Hulk Smash directly to the brain … Yeah, geek-alert.

7. Find out who the “newcomers” are

Being into this “music thingy” for as long as I have, I have achieved incredibly high levels of “meh” and “jadedness” when it comes to new bands. Yeah, I have heard it all before. Or so I pretend.

Now the cool thing about Punk Rock Holiday is, that the main acts only start playing in the evening. During the day, there are plenty of smaller punk rock and hardcore bands playing. On a friggin’ beach!

So yes, I’ll do my best to check out these “newcomers” in an unbiased way, with the required youthful naivety. Which shouldn’t be a problem thanks to the relatively cheap beer and the fact that I will behave myself in a manner that suits a 16-year-old.

I’ll be paying special attention to a few bands, though. Like The Human Project, my fellow Belgians in For I Am, and Coral Springs from the Netherlands, just because their singer sounds a little like Tilt’s Cinder Block.

8. Be a bloody tourist

No, I will not be that dreadlocked, sandal-wearing, environmentally conscious gluten-free backpacking douche you meet all over the world. But I do want to check out some of the scenery in Tolmin.

It’s a small town close to the festival, with a 1.000-year old castle and a history that dates back to the 8th century. Let’s go Japanese and Kodak this shit apart!

Oh, sorry for the politically incorrect remarks here … Fair warning though: there’ll probably be many more of those in my upcoming Punk Rock Holiday festival report titled “Beer and bloating in Slovenia or: How I learned to stopped worrying and love the Budvar”. The lamest of Hunter S. Thompson rip-offs will be written and ready around late August.

9. Order a melon ball

... and probably regret it about 10 drinks later.

Apparently, Punk Rock Holiday is famous for its melon ball cocktails. Since I only drink Long Island Iced Tea, like the failed author I really am, these melon ball thingies are most likely gonna be the death of me. See you on the other side!