Album Reviews

Hey, we like Code Orange as much as the next person! Unfortunately we asked Waldorf & Statler to review “I Am King”. Here’s what we got from these two professional grouches!

After seeing the album cover:

- So today we’re listening to the new Code Orange, “I Am King”

- I am King? King Kong? The company that made Candy Crush?

After having heard opening track “I Am King”:

- I imagine this is what Converge sounds like when they are drunk.

- This is what everybody sounds like when they are drunk.

Halfway through “Unclean Spirit”:

- They were cooler when they were still Kids.

- Like, Code Orange Kids?

- No, just kids. In diapers. Before they started making this racket.

While looking further down the tracklisting:

- Look, there’s a song called “Your Body Is Ready…”

- They forgot “… to convulse, collapse, curl up and wish it could be anywhere else”

During “Thinners Of The Herd”:

- Ouch

- What’s wrong?

- It’s either this album or indigestion. I hope it’s indigestion.

- Why?

- Because then it’ll get better in a little while.

Just after the start of “Mercy”:

- I like this song the best out of all of them.

- Oh yeah? Why’s that?

- Because it’s the last one.